When I was in middle school, I attended Martin Luther King Jr Jr High School. As kids we loved saying Jr Jr, but more importantly going to MLK Jr Jr High is when I started the small steps toward waking up to my whiteness. We tried to understand what MLK was trying to teach us, but for me it was distant, and about the courage of his peaceful leadership, and his bravery marching on Washington. It was not about me at all. So it has been slow, and decades passed, and self-awareness increased. Mindful attention of my body's reactions and impulses, noticing what triggers me, becoming aware of the automaticity of thoughts based on the race of others, I started to understand the inside out and outside in of race. Since the summer of 2020, what has been helping me wake up to my racial conditioning is being a part of a year-long cohort studying with Ruth King. I am learning more and more how to witness, observe, understand and grow... all without self-judgment but instead self-compassion. The purpose is to reduce the harm I am doing, to others, and to myself, in my work, in community, and so I can better serve as a leadership consultant and meditation teacher. I am in a group of seven white meditation teachers, all working together under Ruth's guidance to help each other painfully see our past actions, behaviors, and impacts, as well as the filters, biases, language and ways of being we embody today. I know it will continue to be deep-work growth journey for me for a long time. On January 18th, we can all join the collective, conscious march of love lead by MLK. And everyday thereafter.